I got completely owned. My brain and body said “today is not the day to go there” but yet I still said “meh, who cares” and headed out to a new place.
Because of that decision I butchered myself pretty well today. I guess I was looking for something “new” and I sure got that – but in a more “new anxiety” way. I’m not complaining but that was some next level shit. I don’t think I’ll be entering those specific parts of town ever again. Messed up slums, druggies, prostitutes, half way houses and a crap load of other crazy shit that I had to see as I made my way through. I think I’ll stick to the parts of town I’ve usually stuck too.
My misadventure was a eye opener though. Sometimes its good to see all that for yourself to appreciate where you live currently…either way, I had several panic attacks and was severally anxious the whole time as I made my way through this part of town, and since I have paranoia issues I won’t be talking about this too much. All I know for now is, I AIN’T GOING BACK THERE!
Since it was unfamiliar to me I can see how that added anxiety to it, but the overall folks hanging around the street corners and the general demographic of people that make up this area were the main reasons why I wasn’t feeling it. I don’t belong there, not my type of crowd.
And to top it all off, a prostitute/dealer tried to pick me up, needlessness to say, I made my way out of that situation ASAP.
After getting out in one piece and still shaky form the experience I was in rich-ville. Not sure which one was worse. The crime ridden area, or the pretentious snobs walking around in rich-ville. I hadn’t been in here in years and passing through here was also a mind-fuck to say the least. Loud, miserable and just not welcoming. To sum it up it was “fake” and the more and more I looked around I started thinking “this place is a mess”. So I got out of there and headed home finally, but not before coming across a huge concert……. Big concert = large amount of people… + me (the social phob and agoraphobic).. well.. we all know how I felt when I came across that…..ha…… one word, Owned.