The Thing (1982)

February, 20, 2016 – Watched:

The Thing (1982)

In the year 1982, John Carpenter decided to release “The Thing” – hailed nowadays as a “classic horror movie” by some. I’ve never had any interest in Carpenter’s work for the most part, and only by sheer chance tonight I decided to watch this film-making “attempt” at horror. I didn’t read into it, no reviews, no details, no nothing. Just sat down and watched it from start to finish.

So, I’m left with the burning question that most of us ask ourselves after watching a movie.

“Did we enjoy that? Was it good? bad? perhaps only mediocre?” “Did we waste our time on that? Was it life changing?” Thankfully, that’s an easy answer in this case.

The Thing starts off promising and suspenseful in the opening scene and quickly shifts into horrifically bad for an array of reasons.

  • No characters depth, no interesting developments, shallow plot.
  • Bad acting. What were they thinking? Kurt Russel’s stupid hat in the blistering cold? Come on, it was absurd and stupid.
  • Where was the script? All I heard was repetitive lines over and over again. Laziness at its core. The writing was bad and laughable.
  • Repeating story arc. One death after another for no good reason other then showing off the fancy 1980’s special effects.
  • Really boring score.

And that’s where we’ll stop. Too many flaws, no point in listing them all.

I really didn’t think much of this coming into it. So my disappointment isn’t really that high, its actually expected. It seems Carpenter’s work overall never really concentrated or achieved proper character design/development, which should of been a read flag from the start. Thankfully real horror gems (ie. Carrie, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby) take all these important aspects into consideration and as a result stand the test of time.

The only good points in the movie? The VFX for the time period. Quite uncomfortable at times which was impressive (even now in 2016). And finally, the best for last, let’s not forget this:

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Albert Whitlock – “The Thing”

VFX – 8/10

The rest – 6/10

If you want a real horror, don’t bother with this, unless you want a “horrifically” bad attempt at a scare and storytelling.

 

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