Hue Test

my hue test results



Brain Wave Frequencies

Gamma Waves

These are involved in higher processing tasks as well as cognitive functioning. Gamma waves are important for learning, memory and information processing. It is thought that the 40 Hz gamma wave is important for the binding of our senses in regards to perception and are involved in learning new material. It has been found that individuals who are mentally challenged and have learning disabilities tend to have lower gamma activity than average.

  • Frequency range: 40 Hz to 100 Hz (Highest)
  • Too much: Anxiety, high arousal, stress
  • Too little: ADHD, depression, learning disabilities
  • Optimal: Binding senses, cognition, information processing, learning, perception, REM sleep
  • Increase gamma waves: Meditation

Beta Waves

These are known as high frequency low amplitude brain waves that are commonly observed while we are awake. They are involved in conscious thought, logical thinking, and tend to have a stimulating affect. Having the right amount of beta waves allows us to focus and complete school or work-based tasks easily. Having too much beta may lead to us experiencing excessive stress and/or anxiety. The higher beta frequencies are associated with high levels of arousal. When you drink caffeine or have another stimulant, your beta activity will naturally increase. Think of these as being very fast brain waves that most people exhibit throughout the day in order to complete conscious tasks such as: critical thinking, writing, reading, and socialization.

  • Frequency range: 12 Hz to 40 Hz (High)
  • Too much: Adrenaline, anxiety, high arousal, inability to relax, stress
  • Too little: ADHD, daydreaming, depression, poor cognition
  • Optimal: Conscious focus, memory, problem solving
  • Increase beta waves: Coffee, energy drinks, various stimulants

Alpha Waves

This frequency range bridges the gap between our conscious thinking and subconscious mind. In other words, alpha is the frequency range between beta and theta. It helps us calm down when necessary and promotes feelings of deep relaxation. If we become stressed, a phenomenon called “alpha blocking” may occur which involves excessive beta activity and very little alpha. Essentially the beta waves “block” out the production of alpha because we become too aroused.

  • Frequency range: 8 Hz to 12 Hz (Moderate)
  • Too much: Daydreaming, inability to focus, too relaxed
  • Too little: Anxiety, high stress, insomnia, OCD
  • Optimal: Relaxation
  • Increase alpha waves: Alcohol, marijuana, relaxants, some antidepressants

Theta Waves

This particular frequency range is involved in daydreaming and sleep. Theta waves are connected to us experiencing and feeling deep and raw emotions. Too much theta activity may make people prone to bouts of depression and may make them “highly suggestible” based on the fact that they are in a deeply relaxed, semi-hypnotic state. Theta has its benefits of helping improve our intuition, creativity, and makes us feel more natural. It is also involved in restorative sleep. As long as theta isn’t produced in excess during our waking hours, it is a very helpful brain wave range.

  • Frequency range: 4 Hz to 8 Hz (Slow)
  • Too much: ADHD, depression, hyperactivity, impulsivity, inattentiveness
  • Too little: Anxiety, poor emotional awareness, stress
  • Optimal: Creativity, emotional connection, intuition, relaxation
  • Increase theta waves: Depressants

Delta Waves

These are the slowest recorded brain waves in human beings. They are found most often in infants as well as young children. As we age, we tend to produce less delta even during deep sleep. They are associated with the deepest levels of relaxation and restorative, healing sleep. They have also been found to be involved in unconscious bodily functions such as regulating heart beat and digestion. Adequate production of delta waves helps us feel completely rejuvenated after we wake up from a good night’s sleep. If there is abnormal delta activity, an individual may experience learning disabilities or have difficulties maintaining conscious awareness (such as in cases of brain injuries).

  • Frequency range: 0 Hz to 4 Hz (Slowest)
  • Too much: Brain injuries, learning problems, inability to think, severe ADHD
  • Too little: Inability to rejuvenate body, inability to revitalize the brain, poor sleep
  • Optimal: Immune system, natural healing, restorative / deep sleep
  • Increase delta waves: Depressants, sleep


Whats another 20km…

The weather is warming up, and cooling down. It can’t make up its mind. It’s early in the morning and I’m sitting here drinking a beer for the first time in months and listening to some dark drone. Anyways, it’ll be warm soon and that means sun, lots of sun (hopefully) – something I’ve been lacking for a very long time in abundance. I need my sun. The sun needs me. We need each other. If I could touch the sun I would (that sexy bright solar giant) 😉

I have a few plans with the sun, one which consists of traveling 50km solo. Where I shall go will be desolate, green, full of wildlife and right up my alley. Only problem is, its 50km. I’m used to 38km on a daily basis so I don’t think it’ll be to much to handle. If it’s to easy, I’ll push it even further. I’ll be documenting this ‘get away trip‘ with some gear…perhaps even video (if I don’t have a panic attack) Been having a lot of those lately. *Drone plays* There is more I could say, but fuck it. I shouldn’t dwell on the negative points, but only the positive.

Come to think of it, I haven’t made a post regarding any mental health issues in months. This is the first in quite some time.

I feel like getting loaded. I haven’t been properly loaded in awhile. Make that early 2013. Fuck that’s long. Then again, maybe its good for me, maybe not. I question things more nowadays. What’s the meaning behind this? I’m becoming old. I’m questioning the question now. Mind fuck!


ACV – The Miracle Juice


This shit tastes amazing with water. It’s like concentrated apple juice. So gooooood. The fact it’s super healthy makes it a cherry on top for a hypo like me. 😀 It also heals wounds, is antibacterial, antiviral, antifungal and kills yeast overgrowth which is responsible for a shit load of problems in people.




Another pathetic attempt at something productive. I made an appointment, but I didn’t attend it. Wonder why…I’m a fucking retard with mental problems. Durrrrrr gonna fucking punch myself. Feel like smashing shit apart and breaking something badly. I spent 15 minutes or so in bed laying there today and thinking, “Should I go?” “I’m too fuckin’ out of it for this today” followed by “I’m too goddamn anxious”. I tried to get up for a second, which was followed by some bad physical symptoms, so I laid back down. This wasn’t about positive or negative thinking, it was down to fact. I wasn’t ready for this type of commitment. It was some sort of life and death decision thinking, it felt overwhelming and numb/dead like. Reminded me of some nasty shit from the past.

As for the appointment, it wasn’t my idea in the first place, but whatever. I called for the sheer reason of gathering info and that’s all, I should of been firmer in my stand, instead of saying “ok” before thinking it through fully. Now I’m even more anxious to call back or go there. I don’t have many options- but – to call back and make up an excuse, or, go somewhere else and try. Then again, all this was obvious from the dreams I had the day I made the stupid fuckin’ appointment. They all pointed to a specific meaning which was the EXACT outcome today. I feel like a piece of shit. Make that, an anxious piece of shit. Not that I am, but I surely feel like that.

Whats crazy about all this is the fact I had no dreams recently that I could recollect or any that made any impression on me. However, all that changed the day I made the appointment and went to sleep.

Going from point 0 to 80 in one fast move isn’t normal nor is it advised for people that are unstable and not on their feet. Learning the hard way isn’t fun. Today was bullshit and baby-steps are the only way to function and get ahead from now on, which means everyone and everything else can fuck off. I shall not be around nor will I be posting on here.

Thy Shall Ponder

One (me, I myself) must ponder about whether 2013 was a good or bad year – or a mix of both. On one side, the year started off tense and nuts. Going out partying for the fist time in 8 years was a mind fuck. It was a liberation to the soul and mind and the physical being. I took it to other levels, and came out alive. Sometimes I gotta remind myself that I’m not 20 anymore and I need to calm down, but that’s simply who I am. Live fast, and hard. I got myself into messed up situations and survived. My head was in a different ‘space‘ back then and thinking back at it now is quite a nostalgic feeling. Surprisingly enough the lead up to a fresh start in 2013 came at the late end of a 2012 health disaster and other bullshit that wouldn’t end. Yet, 2013 opened up to be a roller coaster of fun and liberation – …at least at first. Shortly after all this fun, it came to a grinding, debilitating mess which came about by unforeseen events. Either way, as insanely messed up and hard this past year was I did make the best of it in terms of educating myself on numerous subjects (to a fairly high degree) and I ain’t stopping in 2014.

Now, it’s officially Jan, 1st, 2014 and there are 365 days to utilize to full potential. Of course, that’s not always possible due to uncontrollable & unseen circumstances that arise and come within a full years length. With that being said though, certain shit needs to be done regardless and I don’t really want to waste any time. 2014 ‘could‘ and ‘should‘ be a new start fresh, surely it can be a slow, baby-step one and as long as it’s a steady baby-step one –  then I’m good. I for one do not like making long term future goals, instead, I live day by day, doing shit step-by-step…..(rambles off on tangent..”Step by step ooh baby, Gonna get to you girl, Step by step ooh baby, Really want you in my world“) 😉

Anyways, breaking it all down – 2013 was the year of new organic music exploration & creation, getting out (at least in the beginning), studying film & photography religiously, bringing knowledge to my brain, lifestyle changes, confessions, nostalgic memories, feeling inspired & liberated, changing styles, learning some more, and starting this blog. Was it enough? No it wasn’t, but that’s ’cause I’m hard on myself (So I’m told 24-7). Was it enjoyable? Yep, it had its high points for sure, but it also had its low points. There were some relapses (that lasted very short thankfully), confusion, anger, and what not. Music studio gear broke and is broken currently, and other wild escapades that need not mentioning since I wish to completely forget about them – thank you very much 😉

2013 begins....

2013 begins….

To finish this off, I’m signing this blog post off with a ‘few’ pieces of music, 4 per each quarter of the year that encompass the full emotional state this year was about……here we go:

  • Q1 ————————————————————————-





  • Q2 ————————————————————————-




d – – Full Album – because it was the best thing I’ve heard in years.

  • Q3 ————————————————————————-





  • Q4 ————————————————————————-

Which brings us to the FINAL quarter of the year, and that means something to sign us off…

Epic song, to an epic year 😉

The Bolt Out

An all too familiar event with anxiety and panic.

“Enter, panic, search, find item, pay, bolt out as fast as possible” – Socially Anxious Shopper

I went out tonight to pick some stuff up before the major holiday rush really kicks in. Last year I ended up going to a mall last minute to check some stuff out before xmas; however, it was packed and I got smacked in the face with a panic attack upon entering. Nothing new there. Picture being in jail for 10 years straight and one day they say: “Ok, you’re free to go, do what you want”. The second someone gets out from being locked up like that, for so long, the outside world is scary shit.

But today was stupid as hell as well. I barely lasted 4minutes in the store. I got the shit I needed but not before noticing (upon arriving home) I picked up the wrong fucking size of the item!

I bolted out as quick as I went in. It went something like, “enter, select what I need, go to the cashier, pay in complete frozen panic, and leave“. What kinda stupid bullshit is that? I tunnel visioned every sequence of the situation and avoided all eye contact as usual.

I’m getting fucking ripped and obliterated this holiday season. And I’m not talking about the working out type of ripped…

Safety Behaviors in Social Anxiety

“…we often urge people to drink a sports beverage that contains caffeine and increases blood flow, so that the person can feel both shaky and flushed in social situations.”

Um, NO.

As true as some of the points made in this article are, the one above must be one of the worst examples of what NOT to do when doing exposures. Anxiety suffers do NOT need caffeine, or ANY TYPE OF STIMULANTS in their system. Add to that the huge amount of adrenaline and cortisol released during exposures, you’re simply FUELING the fire.

Healthy? No. Beneficial? Hell no.

The rest of the article is pretty point on though.